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I have a (grade 12) student (in a grade 10 English class) who is pretending that he is Russian. 

He’s using a Russian name. He wears a fake Russian cadet uniform to class every day. He even speaks with a fake Russian accent and is telling everyone that he was born in Moscow. (For the record, he was born here in the city and isn’t Russian. Not even a little bit.)

It’s bizarre and I don’t understand what he is trying to accomplish. 

Filed under teaching is hard and weird

483,398 notes

ryrytings:

iapetusneume:

sushinfood:

justamerplwithabox:

vivelafat:

prokopetz:

officialdeadparrot:

grellholmes:

elsajeni:

gunslingerannie:

justtkeepcalmm:

dean-and-his-pie:

fororchestra:

musicalmelody:

Fun Story: My director kept telling me and my tenor sax buddy to play softer. No matter what we did, it wasn’t soft enough for him. So getting frustrated, I told my buddy “Dont play this time. Just fake it” 
Our Band Director then informed us we sounded perfect. 

To my readers: “p” means quiet, “pp” means really quiet. I’ve never seen “pppp” before haha.
On the contrast, “f” means loud, and “ffff” probably means so loud you go unconscious.

I had ffff in a piece once and my conductor told me to play as loudly as physically possible without falling off my chair…

Me and my trombone buddies had “ffff” and he sat next to me and played so hard that he fell out of his chair.
The lengths we go for music.

Okay yeah so I play the bass clarinet and the amount of air you have to move and the stiffness of the reed means it only has two settings and that is loud and louder, with an optional LOUDEST that includes a 50% probability of HORRIBLE CROAKING NOISE which is the bass equivalent of the ubiquitous clarinet shriek.

One day, when I was in concert band in high school, we got a new piece handed out for the first time, and there was a strange little commotion back in the tuba section — whispering, and pointing at something in the music, and swatting at each other’s hands all shhh don’t call attention to it. And although they did attract the attention of basically everyone else in the band, they managed to avoid being noticed by the band director, who gave us a few minutes to look over our parts and then said, “All right, let’s run through it up to section A.”
And here we are, cheerfully playing along, sounding reasonably competent — but everyone, when they have the attention to spare, is keeping an eye on the tuba players. They don’t come in for the first eight measures or so, and then when they do come in, what we see is:
[stifled giggling]
[reeeeeeally deep breath]
[COLOSSAL FOGHORN NOISE]
The entire band stops dead, in the cacophonous kind of way that a band stops when it hasn’t actually been cued to stop. The band director doesn’t even say anything, just looks straight back at the tubas and makes a helpless sort of why gesture.
In unison, the tuba players defend themselves: “THERE WERE FOUR F’S.”
FFFF is not really a rational dynamic marking for any instrument, but for the love of all that is holy why would you put it in a tuba part.

This is the best band post 
Everyone else go home

Oh man, so I play trombone, and we got this piece called Florentiner Marsch by Julius Fucik, and we saw this

which is 8 fortes. We were shocked until,

that is 24 fortes who the fuck does that

Who does that?

This guy. Take a good look - that is the moustache of a man with nothing to lose.

Julius IdontgivaFucik

More like Julius Fuckit


Pyrozod's tags for this were too hilarious not to share

I’d say I’d always reblog this, but the last part contains a story I’ve never seen and therefore guarantees it. Also,
ryrytings
, omg.

I’ve played that Florentiner March. Just once. Then I had to get my left lung replaced.

ryrytings:

iapetusneume:

sushinfood:

justamerplwithabox:

vivelafat:

prokopetz:

officialdeadparrot:

grellholmes:

elsajeni:

gunslingerannie:

justtkeepcalmm:

dean-and-his-pie:

fororchestra:

musicalmelody:

Fun Story: My director kept telling me and my tenor sax buddy to play softer. No matter what we did, it wasn’t soft enough for him. So getting frustrated, I told my buddy “Dont play this time. Just fake it” 

Our Band Director then informed us we sounded perfect. 

To my readers: “p” means quiet, “pp” means really quiet. I’ve never seen “pppp” before haha.

On the contrast, “f” means loud, and “ffff” probably means so loud you go unconscious.

I had ffff in a piece once and my conductor told me to play as loudly as physically possible without falling off my chair…

Me and my trombone buddies had “ffff” and he sat next to me and played so hard that he fell out of his chair.

The lengths we go for music.

Okay yeah so I play the bass clarinet and the amount of air you have to move and the stiffness of the reed means it only has two settings and that is loud and louder, with an optional LOUDEST that includes a 50% probability of HORRIBLE CROAKING NOISE which is the bass equivalent of the ubiquitous clarinet shriek.

One day, when I was in concert band in high school, we got a new piece handed out for the first time, and there was a strange little commotion back in the tuba section — whispering, and pointing at something in the music, and swatting at each other’s hands all shhh don’t call attention to it. And although they did attract the attention of basically everyone else in the band, they managed to avoid being noticed by the band director, who gave us a few minutes to look over our parts and then said, “All right, let’s run through it up to section A.”

And here we are, cheerfully playing along, sounding reasonably competent — but everyone, when they have the attention to spare, is keeping an eye on the tuba players. They don’t come in for the first eight measures or so, and then when they do come in, what we see is:

[stifled giggling]

[reeeeeeally deep breath]

[COLOSSAL FOGHORN NOISE]

The entire band stops dead, in the cacophonous kind of way that a band stops when it hasn’t actually been cued to stop. The band director doesn’t even say anything, just looks straight back at the tubas and makes a helpless sort of why gesture.

In unison, the tuba players defend themselves: “THERE WERE FOUR F’S.”

FFFF is not really a rational dynamic marking for any instrument, but for the love of all that is holy why would you put it in a tuba part.

This is the best band post 

Everyone else go home

Oh man, so I play trombone, and we got this piece called Florentiner Marsch by Julius Fucik, and we saw this

image

which is 8 fortes. We were shocked until,

image

that is 24 fortes who the fuck does that

Who does that?

This guy. Take a good look - that is the moustache of a man with nothing to lose.

Julius IdontgivaFucik

More like Julius Fuckit

Pyrozod's tags for this were too hilarious not to share

I’d say I’d always reblog this, but the last part contains a story I’ve never seen and therefore guarantees it. Also,
ryrytings
, omg.

I’ve played that Florentiner March. Just once. Then I had to get my left lung replaced.

(Source: housecatincarnate, via raverclawsome)

108 notes

How can Claire become Scottish you ask? If she marries! Claire is like, Oh, I’m not marrying you, and Dougal chuckles, says something crass about grinding her corn, which is a great euphemism for bad sex if nothing else. Then we realize he means for Claire to marry Jamie. I am pretty sure I heard a chorus of angels at this point. Jamie comes upon Claire and offers her some drink and they talk over their potential nuptials. She asks, “Doesn’t it bother you that I’m not a virgin?” “No,” Jamie says, “So long as it doesn’t bother you that I am.” The angels began singing even louder. You’re telling me Claire will have a blank slate and that amazing body to work with? There is a god and her name is Beyoncé.
After mulling over her options a bit longer, Claire takes a big swig of drink, and makes her way back to the menfolk, grabbing the bottle because for some inexplicable reason, she’s going to need a lot more liquor to wrap her mind around being married to the hottest man in Scotland. I don’t need such convincing. I am ready for the wedding and the wedding night and the honeymoon and the christening of a new home and the fight sex and make up sex and Tuesday night sex and all the other flavors of sex Claire and Jamie are finally going to have if Beyoncé wills it, Amen.

Episode 6 Recap - Vulture

(via hopelesswho)

(via daisy4160)

Filed under divariva accurate

382,358 notes

jaacknasty:

Probably the best 6 seconds ever. 

(Source: fartgallery, via ordinaryryder)

168,810 notes

the notebook problem: you see a notebook. you want to buy the notebook. but you know you have like TEN OTHER NOTEBOOKS. most which are STILL EMPTY. you don’t need to notebook. you’re probably not gonna use the notebook anyway. what’s the point? DONT BUY THE NOTEBOOK. you buy the notebook.

(Source: ohawkguy, via dorsalfinnick)

Filed under toohappydriving