“In pop culture, girls who crush hopelessly on guys they can’t have are painted as just that – hopeless. Over and over again, we’re taught that girls who openly express sexual or romantic interest in guys who don’t want them are pitiable, stalkerish, desperate, crazy bitches. More often than not, they’re also portrayed as ugly – whether physically, emotionally or both – in order to further establish their undesirability as an objective fact. Both narratively and, as a consequence, in real life, men are given free reign to snub, abuse, mislead and talk down to such women: we’re raised to believe that female desire is unseemly, so that any consequent shaming is therefore deserved. There is no female-equivalent Friend Zone terminology because, in the language of our culture, a man’s romantic choices are considered sacrosanct and inviolable. If a girl has been told no, then she has only herself to blame for anything that happens next – but if a woman says no, then she must not really mean it. Or, if she does, she shouldn’t: the rejected man is a universally sympathetic figure, and everyone from moviegoers to platonic onlookers will scream at her to justgive him a chance, as though her rejection must always be unfounded rather than based on the fact that he had a chance, and blew it. And even then, give him another one! The pathos of Single Nice Guys can only be eased by pity-sex with unwilling women that blossoms into romance!”
Lamenting the Friendzone, or: The Nice Guy Approach to Perpetuating Sexist Bullshit (via waschbar)
This puts me in mind of that total winner of a guy who got dumped by his girlfriend and then proceeded to stand on the subway with a sign about it getting random strangers’ support to “win” her back.
Because Tim Riggins is a beautifully tortured soul. HE WANTS TO BE GOOD, yet he just can’t ever get it right. BUT HE TRIES. And the trying makes you love him even more. He has a good heart but had a rough life. He messes up, but he owns it. He smiles with his eyes. He wears jeans better than any man ever. He is the guy who loves his town and his family and the simple things in life like cold beer and good sex. TIM RIGGINS IS EVERYTHING I EVER WANT IN A MAN EVER.
So every once in a while, someone (or a couple of someones) will get it into their heads that it’d be cool to come visit us in real life by tracking down our addresses and knocking on our doors, or leaving presents on our doorstep or in our mail box.
“Imagine the love story graph and it always appears as a series of spikes and dips. It looks like teeth. The teeth of a monster, appropriately. I love you, I stab you in the heart, I love you, I crush you with my heel. But. Then imagine, charted on the same axes, a thin line that gradually curves up from zero — everything always starts at zero — and plateaus; it oscillates slightly, but it never comes down, it never severs, it never peaks, it doesn’t run into a wall. What about that?”—Jeffrey S. Chapman, from On Love Stories (via helplesslyamazed)